Healthy Relationships

No one thrives alone.

Healthy relationships provide emotional support, help build trust and create a sense of security and belonging. They promote personal growth, encourage positive behaviors, and can improve overall mental and physical well-being. Healthy relationships may be the most impactful aspect of our wellbeing and success but may also be the most challenging to develop and maintain.

Here’s a look at some of the different kinds of relationships that might show up in your life at Emory and how to navigate them well.

Friendships don’t just happen. They’re built over time and with intention.

According to relationship expert Shasta Nelson, all healthy relationships (friendships included!) share three key ingredients:

· Consistency – spending time together regularly

· Vulnerability – being real and letting others in

· Positivity – enjoying each other’s presence

If any of these are missing, the connection might feel off or just not grow.

On Campus: A lot of friendships start in the residence hall, the classroom, in the lab, or through clubs. Get curious about the people around you. And to deepen those connections, try extending them beyond the initial setting where you met—like inviting someone to grab coffee, study together, or go to a campus event.

Back Home: As you change and grow, your friendships from home might shift too. That’s normal. Staying connected can take effort—schedule a quick video catch-up or send a funny meme now and then. Friendships don’t have to be constant to still matter.

Living with someone (especially someone new) can be an adventure. Roommates might become friends, or they might just be good cohabitants. Either way, communication is key.

Be upfront about things like quiet hours, guests, shared chores, and boundaries. It’s easier to prevent tension than to fix it later. And if things get tricky, don’t be afraid to ask for support. Your resident assistant, experienced family member, or trusted mentor can help with conflict resolution.

Family relationships can be comforting, complicated, or both. Being at Emory might change how often you see or talk to your family—but it can also give you space to redefine the relationship in a way that works for who you’re becoming.

You get to decide how much and how often you connect. Whether it’s a quick text, a weekend call, or a visit home, small actions help maintain bonds.

Professors can seem intimidating, but many want to support you beyond the classroom. Visiting office hours, asking questions, or sharing your academic goals can help build a connection. Don’t wait until you’re struggling—start the relationship early.

A respectful, engaged relationship with a professor can lead to mentorship, research opportunities, references, and guidance far beyond your time at Emory.

Mentors can be professors, staff members, alumni, advisors, supervisors, professionals in your field of interest, or former teacher or coaches from previous experiences. They’re people who offer guidance, encouragement, feedback, and support as you learn and grow. Some mentor relationships happen naturally; others start with a simple conversation or a brave ask.

If you’ve never had a mentor before or if the idea of asking someone for their time feels intimidating, you’re not alone. Many students worry that asking someone to be a mentor is asking too much, especially if that person seems busy or accomplished.

But here’s the truth: for many mentors, being asked is an honor. Most people who can mentor remember what it felt like to be starting out. They know how much a thoughtful conversation or encouraging word meant to them. And often, they’re thrilled to be invited into someone’s growth story. It’s not a burden, it’s meaningful.

That said, you don’t have to start by asking someone, “Will you be my mentor?” Start small. Ask to meet for 20–30 minutes to hear more about their path, their work, or their advice on something you're exploring. Let the relationship grow from there. You might say:

“I really admire how you’ve navigated your career. Would you be open to a short conversation so I can learn from your experience?” “I’m figuring out my next steps in [field/topic], and I’d really value your perspective.”

At Emory, mentors might come through academic departments, student orgs, graduate programs, research teams, or job placements. You can also find mentors outside of school—maybe from a previous job, your community, or even through networking events or alumni connections.

No matter how they show up, a good mentor sees your potential, supports your growth, and helps you feel a little less alone in the process.

And you don’t need dozens of them. One meaningful mentor can make all the difference.

Romantic relationships during college or grad school can be exciting, confusing, meaningful, and sometimes stressful. Whether you're in a long-term relationship, dating casually, or somewhere in between, it helps to know what makes a relationship truly healthy.

Leading relationship researchers and therapists, Drs. John and Julie Gottman, have studied thousands of couples and found that strong, lasting relationships usually include a few key ingredients:

· Friendship at the core – Partners enjoy each other’s company, know each other well, and treat each other with warmth and curiosity.

· Kindness and appreciation – Small daily moments of care and gratitude go a long way. Even when stressed or frustrated, there’s a sense of mutual respect.

· Healthy conflict management – Disagreements are handled in ways that build understanding, not damage. People take responsibility, express needs clearly, and repair after conflict.

· Shared meaning and support for each other’s dreams – Each person feels supported in who they are and where they’re headed. The relationship adds to, not limits, their growth.

Leading relationship researchers and therapists, Drs. John and Julie Gottman, have studied thousands of couples and found that strong, lasting relationships usually include a few key ingredients: 

  • Friendship at the core – Partners enjoy each other’s company, know each other well, and treat each other with warmth and curiosity. 
  • Kindness and appreciation – Small daily moments of care and gratitude go a long way. Even when stressed or frustrated, there’s a sense of mutual respect. 
  • Healthy conflict management – Disagreements are handled in ways that build understanding, not damage. People take responsibility, express needs clearly, and repair after conflict. 
  • Shared meaning and support for each other’s dreams – Each person feels supported in who they are and where they’re headed. The relationship adds to, not limits, their growth. 

One of the Gottmans’ most helpful insights? It’s not about avoiding conflict—it’s about how people handle it when it shows up. 

They’ve also identified four red flags that, if left unaddressed, tend to break down connection and trust over time. These can show up in anyone—ourselves, our partners, or both. Knowing what to watch for can help us shift course early and get support when needed. 

1. Criticism 

A pattern of focusing on someone's character or personality rather than the specific issue. Over time, this can create distance and defensiveness in the relationship. 

  • ❌ “You’re so inconsiderate—you never think about how I feel.” 
  • ✅ “I felt hurt when you canceled our plans last minute. I was really looking forward to seeing you.” 

2. Defensiveness 

Reacting to feedback by denying, shifting blame, or shutting down the conversation. It makes it harder to work through issues and be heard. 

  • ❌ “I don’t know why you’re upset. You’re the one who’s always late!” 
  • ✅ “You’re right—I did run late today. I get why that was frustrating.” 

3. Contempt 

Communication that shows disrespect, sarcasm, or superiority. This can be especially damaging over time and erodes emotional safety. 

  • ❌ “Wow, you really can’t handle anything, can you?” 
  • ✅ “It seems like today’s been overwhelming for both of us. Can we take a break and talk after dinner?” 

4. Stonewalling 

Shutting down or withdrawing during conflict—often to avoid feeling overwhelmed, but it can leave the other person feeling ignored or shut out. 

  • ❌ [No response. Stares at phone while the other person talks.] 
  • ✅ “I’m feeling flooded and need a minute to calm down. Can we take a short break? I’d like to take a walk and then I’ll be ready to talk.” 
 

If you recognize any of these patterns—whether you’re experiencing them or catching yourself doing them—it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. These habits are common, especially during times of stress or when people haven’t learned other tools. You’re not alone, and it’s never too late to learn healthier ways to connect. 

Talking with a trusted family member, mentor or University employee can help you increase your awareness about relationship dynmaics.  Or working with a Wellbeing Coach at the Center for Student Wellbeing can help you practice relationship skills to navigate your relationship.